You hear me! This is to all Trick-Or-Treaters too!
In my day (Im only twenties mind you!), you started the Candy run AFTER DARK! You didn't go out till after 5:30 or 6 pm. You took that 2 hours after school to eat dinner, get ready, let the parents get home, and let the candy giving people get home!
Last few years... Its been earlier... And Earlier. Last year I think I had kids banging at the door by 4! Only 30 minutes after all the school buses would of stopped running. I was arriving as they started banging!
Oh, and did you know I left at 3 that day? A 7 minute drive was taking a hour because of the cars lining up everywhere for candy!
So explain to me... How do you GET candy if no one is home, cant GET home, and so ticked to find 20 kids on their doorstep refusing to move till they get candy.
Ah, and parents, where are you with a 3 year old running around a random group of kids...? In the car of course! TEXTING!
So they sit while their young child wonders 5 houses up and then has to come back and usually looks lost!
So why am I ranting? That's easy... This October 31st... Show up at my door before 5 at the earliest and you'll have dog crap dropped in your buckets! I DARE your parents to say a word to me when they are pulled into my goddamn parking space TEXTING and your blocking my door demanding Candy when my porch light isn't even on!
To those too young to know this: PORCH LIGHT = CANDY. Don't bang on a door because you see their home! I had 50 kids come to my door after I turned the light off "BUT YOUR LIGHTS INSIDE ARE ON!!!! MOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!!!!!" Its about this time I called my largest and most aggressive dog to the door... 100 pounds of fat and loud bark, don't you love Pitts?
I actually stuck a note on the door: (Out of 20 bags of candy, I splurged on dollar stuff so it was only 30 bucks worth, I was all out of it by 5:30-6... The time I would of started... I was only giving 2-3 suckers per kid! And that was only because they were Dum-Dums!)
DOOR IS UNLOCKED. THERE IS NO CANDY. COME IN MY HOUSE OR BANG ON THIS DOOR AND I WILL CONSIDER IT TRESPASSING AND LET MY GUARD DOGS OUTSIDE.
THAT IS ALL, TRY TO KEEP SAFE!
This worked well. I have a few large dogs, instead of keeping them away from the windows and doors I let them scare anyone who came near the door. After 8 pm I went out with one of them and sat on the steps enjoying a drink. Mind you this pup is only about 40 pounds but shes a lot of leg and can pass for a police dog if ya aint comparing her to a shepard side by side. Sweetest thing, loves kids. But when a big dogs jumping and barking most parents make a kid keep distance. Those that didn't weren't asking for candy atleast. Just wanted to pet the pups and asked a hundred and one questions on if she could find lost people or drugs. I snuck those kids some of the good candy I stashed. I like kids that love animals. Those are usually the good ones!
That last part was really late, mainly kids getting back from Trunk-or-Treats to the Apts I stay in. A few of them knew me already and knew i'd saved candy for them or just love seeing my dogs. I think 99% of it was the parents know im not home and that i'd have some stashed for kids I knew (El Cheapo Treat Bags and a Spider cookie!).
This year im Protesting Trick or Treaters! Ya heard me right! This year you'll find a sign on my door:
"WONT BE HOME TILL 6 PM. WOULD OF MADE IT HERE ABOUT 5 IF ONLY THERE WAS A WAY TO GET ON THIS STREET. AFTER 6 MY PORCH LIGHT WILL TURN ON AND I WILL BE OUT HERE WITH MY DOGS.
BETTER LUCK THEN!"
If you agree with this idea of NOT being put out on Halloween then put a sign on your door informing Trick-Or-Treaters that you are NOT home and will NOT give out candy till after a certain time. If you have a driveway I suggest putting a blockade or sign threatening to call the cops if anyone uses it. Seriously... Its bad enough to take over the streets, don't park in someone else's goddamn parking slot, driveway, or lawn (Especially their lawn! If you catch someone doing that crap take a picture of their Tag and call the cops. That's personal property damage when they tore up your lawn just so they wouldn't have to walk 2 more steps!)
Woo... I feel better after that rant. Got your own horror stories or complaints? Post below and lets vent together on this annoying issue and lack of manners! Maybe we'll survive without shooting someone!
Yall keep safe and God bless!
~Wolfe
Im giving you the recipe for my popular Finger Plate! Corn Dog fingers that is!
Heres what you'll need:
Corn Dogs (Pre made, or your own recipe)
Ketchup
Popscicle sticks
Heres what ya do:
1. Cook the corn dogs.
2. Once Cooked, cut them in half (Or break if you want the creepy factor!).
3. Insert the sticks into the exposed hot dog part (As far as you like, but deeper and just before breaking the skin looks best!).
4. Garnish with the ketchup making a bloody mess around the "Base" (where the hot dog is exposed, even onto the stick!).
5. Optional: Cut a portion of the tip of the "finger" off to make a nail or use food coloring or other condoments to draw a nail.
Serve with bowls of blood or even a extra bloody mess. Enjoy!
Side note: A friend of mine used bones (Real bones, chicken legs and such) it didn't work out! They insert the bones (that had been fried already with the chicken) and cooked them again with the corn dog for gross factor.. Don't do that...
Chicken bones are FRAIL! Those things were splitting like crazy and though it was realistic it was not a good finger food dish to be serving! (No pun intended!) People were pulling bone out of their mouth and their food. Its a major chocking hazard!
Please, if you try this then use UNCOOKED BONES! Wash them in HOT water to kill germs and cook with the fingers! ---OR--- Stick cooked bones in AFTER its cooked (make sure you can not bite the bone and it splinter easy or break before using!).
And please... If using real bones, warn your guest of possibly splinters of bones and don't serve the bone ones around children. They wont pay attention to corndog and bones.
Thank you for checking this out and have a safe Halloween!
Happy Cooking, God Bless!
~Wolf
Heres what you'll need:
Corn Dogs (Pre made, or your own recipe)
Ketchup
Popscicle sticks
Heres what ya do:
1. Cook the corn dogs.
2. Once Cooked, cut them in half (Or break if you want the creepy factor!).
3. Insert the sticks into the exposed hot dog part (As far as you like, but deeper and just before breaking the skin looks best!).
4. Garnish with the ketchup making a bloody mess around the "Base" (where the hot dog is exposed, even onto the stick!).
5. Optional: Cut a portion of the tip of the "finger" off to make a nail or use food coloring or other condoments to draw a nail.
Serve with bowls of blood or even a extra bloody mess. Enjoy!
Side note: A friend of mine used bones (Real bones, chicken legs and such) it didn't work out! They insert the bones (that had been fried already with the chicken) and cooked them again with the corn dog for gross factor.. Don't do that...
Chicken bones are FRAIL! Those things were splitting like crazy and though it was realistic it was not a good finger food dish to be serving! (No pun intended!) People were pulling bone out of their mouth and their food. Its a major chocking hazard!
Please, if you try this then use UNCOOKED BONES! Wash them in HOT water to kill germs and cook with the fingers! ---OR--- Stick cooked bones in AFTER its cooked (make sure you can not bite the bone and it splinter easy or break before using!).
And please... If using real bones, warn your guest of possibly splinters of bones and don't serve the bone ones around children. They wont pay attention to corndog and bones.
Thank you for checking this out and have a safe Halloween!
Happy Cooking, God Bless!
~Wolf
