Friday, July 31, 2015

Farmville…Just Farming?

(3/20/15 Weebly Post)

For those that know me—what the hell, yall know me too well for comfort! Well as you know, I schedule my blogs abit in the future to prevent blank post. Like what happened to Witches Brew post back on Halloween. Well. This one is abit pushed too, so on we go.

Show of hands, who plays Farmville? Probably everyone. It’s a fun little game designed to drag you in and trick you into using cash.

Well, recently they allowed the fun of “Your Childhood Sweetheart.” It’s a farmhand that never leaves and you often Hug. Well, their free to use in exchange for “Meals” which is crafted recipes and a energy that refills daily (every 24 hrs) unless you BUY more.

Well you had to train your friend in chapters like field care, tree care, and like chapter 3 you go on a date and in like chapter 5 or 6 you ask them to marry you and then like 8 or 9 kids are coming soon! LIES!

I got on.. Look what I had… A KID…Still says COMING SOON and here I got a bundle of joy… I don’t want. I even named it “wth..” I did not want. It eats my baby bottles. I need those! Too many animals! Hell I aint even gone out on a DATE yet! IM STILL IN CHAPTER 2!

So were we screwing in the trees or fields of golden wheat? Were those hugs really humps? I don’t know but im scared and confused!

What about yall? Scared yet by this?

Wasn’t it bad enough a person ya hadn’t dated yet was living in your house? Hugging you constantly? Getting in the way of you and your horses as well as EATING your food and DEMANDING food for their ONE job a day?!

And WORSE you only been there 5 days!! HOW DID I GIVE BIRTH!?!?!!

Facebook has no logic… Im terrified… I think I also got broken. Im mentally broken my friends. I crave the idea of logic. I still wasn’t comfy with the shitting out wool and horse shoes and they throw THIS at me..

What do yall think of these developments? Any confusion, worry, logic?

Till next we meet… I need a asprin…


Monday, July 27, 2015

Your an Inch Worm...Mr. --Grinch?

(3/11/15 Weebly Post)

And to revisit last week. My Boyfriend is the inch worm in his sleep!

So allow me to brighten your day with a few details and stories at his expense!

So when I first saw it, he had his ass all the way in the air, arms at his side. If I didnt know any better i'd think he was being raped by a ghost. But after a minute a stretches out and curls around and is inching all over the bed. Im not sure if hes possessed or half inch worm... But he does get around.

I feel like I should have popcorn to watch him at night or that I should feel abit dirty.. Its kind of like a bad porno scene in the B rated horrors from the 90s. Almost as hairy too.

Hes actually inched his way UNDER the bed before. Scared the shit out me when he woke up screaming "I DONT WANNA DIE! PLEASE DIG ME BACK UP! I WONT DO IT AGAIN!" and all the while hes banging on the mattress. SO I wake up and snatch the candle holder off the wall ready to kill someone thinking were under attack...nope...Just him.

So his legs are kickin, not under the bed mind you, the dogs are freakin', and im sitting there staring.. Blankly... I mean WTF... Is he dreaming? Nope.. Hes just stuck nearly naked under the bed, sweating and screaming. Now about this time the doors banging. I look at him and just go answer it. Hes in the back still screaming bloody murder with dogs barking and i've got two cops with their guns pointed at me.

I just point to the room.. They walk in.. And they see a pit bull on the bed trying to bite the fist sized bumps hitting the mattress. They look at me.. I point UNDER the bed...

There was a few wicked witch jokes made... Till a tooth hit that fist... Then it was silent... Followed by another scream... This one with "OMG LET GO OF MY THUMB!! FIONA!!!" Me.. I do all I can do at this point. I jump on the bed and tell my baby boy how GOOD he is! One of the officers pulls him out.. He turns beet red...

The officers kindly lie that he was fixing the boards in the bed and our dogs jumped up and they gave out... He was stuck under 200 pds of dog and mattress. His hand was fine too.

For his safety the mattresses are on the floor and the bed frame is tucked away in storage. Now he inches into the bathroom and wakes up on a wet floor with one of the water balls on his nuts as he hugs the base of the toliet... Though to be honest, I put the bowl there for his protection.

After all this, Atleast he doesnt drool... Usually. And yes, hes inched his way over me too..

I wake up with his feet in my face, I wake up with him half off the mattress and half on me, and at very confusing times with him curled in my lap or face down in my chest...

My reaction is usually a smack to his head. He never drools unless hes on me. So I want a shower.. He's done better about inching off the bed instead of on to me.

Now He either inches his ass into a dog bed ( I dont think the dogs mind AT ALL!) or I weigh him down and keep him from moving. Putting ankle and wrist weights on him helped. Plus I lay on his arm.

Well, you've got a nice look into my private life and I hope you've got a BUNCH of laughs out of it!

Till next we chat,


Wednesday, July 22, 2015

New Bullet

( As Posted to Weebly 3/10/15, for a Weebly Page..!)

This wont count as this weeks post by the way!

But it was pointed out to me that I had passed a goal marker in post! Im actually OVER 25 posts now! (Small milestone but hey!)

Was my 25th post here! Yay!

Well, now that THATS done!

Imma celebrate abit! We shit hit our 50th soon enough too! When I hit 100 post or a thousand views in a day I think Imma have to throw a REAL party!

I'll see yall soon my sweets!


Friday, July 17, 2015

Touching Base

(As Posted 3/6/15 to weebly)

As you notice im posting to as well. I'll be adding there at 1-2 a week till its caught up but I WILL be posting here still! Still the usual weekly or there abouts! Don't worry darlins!


Monday, July 13, 2015

Post Exorcism

( As post on Weebly 3/4/15)

Few days later, angers gone (siggghhh).

Boyfriend has put away the cross. Im not a demon (now...) and thus not a threat...

He still threatens me with a catholic priest though when I get mad. I dont think my bursting out into laughter about it is helping. (What? It's funny. I get alittle mad and he starts threatening to get a priest!)

I think hes under the impression im possessed due to the OLD house. My friend told me once that it was haunted. Showed me pictures of the bruises and scratches she got... Told me how it really effected her relationship with her family and even blames it for her spiral into a bad depression and mental breakdowns. Maybe i'll share that next blog, after Im back home..

Well. Its still a old house. Creaky floor boards and if ya jump, it shakes! So stomping makes for shaky house. And thus, I must be possessed... Ya..

Well. THATS over! No more possessed me! I cant even help but roll my eyes about that one.. I get pretty ticked at times but im no where near as bad as a demon..

Am I?

Well, atleast I get some love from yall.


Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Blank Space

( As posted to Weebly 3/4/15)

An blank space to throw ya off..!

(Truth, my blog became gibberish when it posted. I cant delete so..... It wont effect updates!)


Friday, July 3, 2015

Dating Vs Living

(As Posted to Weebly 3/3/15)

Ya know, there was a time where you dated a person for YEARS to decide if you were right for each other. That or your childhood friends and ya just know its true love (Thanks Modern Movies...) OR its true love after knowing each other 5 minutes, lets marry and snu snu! (THANK YOU DISNEY!!)

Well now adays you see more of "Hey we been dating a month, movie in with me."

Is that a bad thing? You know their already.. Uh-hm, being intimate.. (There is no good way to phrase that when I know there are minors reading this...) Plus with the latest batch of humans we date for a week, maybe a month and by this point their done or know if they want to take another step.

Now, knowing that sex probably is happening or will happen anyway you take into account they live together now.

If their already sexual then nothing changed. If their not then they may or may not share a bedroom. But there are pluses to living together.

~Money savings and time
When living with a roommate you have options to split chores and bills. For most younger people that is a helpful thing. It gives a chance to work part time and go to school, to save money, and to put more time into a relationship.

~"You Never know someone till ya live with them."
That old saying is VERY true. Everyone has special quirks and habits that cant annoy you outside of the home... Things like cleaning habits (example: laundry, dishes, floor isnt a hamper), eating habits, weird personal things that just freak you out...

Honestly this one alone should break the deal on if marrying before living with is best...

People just act different in public.

Here, allow me to enlighten you on my personal experience. Some time ago I was asked why I was "So sinful" and living with a man that was not my husband or family. (To be fair it was a old woman nearing the age of 90... Different time, different teachings. I just shrugged that off.) I told her the truth. He needed a place to go to get from a bad place.

My boyfriend and I had been dating for about a year. We had known each other for going on 6 years at that time. But he wasnt living in good circumstances. He was eating once a day, and that was usually dollar menu pink goo. He had HUNDREDS of health problems, mental and physical. And he was thinking of ending it all daily.

Me, I was going to college getting a degree. So when I ran into some extra cash via the Dean's List I said to him "Baby, if you want a new start I can bring you here. We can get ya better." He was scared, but he wanted something better and knew I cared. So he got his ass packed on a plane and here he was.

So my boyfriend is now living with me. I started working on his issues. First his social issues, then his body, and still his shattered brain... He went from sexy looking nerd to even sexier bum...

His anxiety makes it hard to find him work so he currently makes his living via dog and house sitting for the locals as well as me. My big dogs require ALOT of attention and he made a great house keeper.

But in the year we've lived together I've found things I didnt know about him when dating. Things like how he FOLDS his laundry... I mean what da hell... Its dirty, it'll come unfolded in the wash... Hes moody as can be... Which works, I got a temper to rival his. He spends TOO MUCH TIME ON FACEBOOK! Not being social though, oooh no... Hes playing Farmville, Dino Hunter, and Zombie Killer... For HOURS. He also never takes off his shoes, even in bed... He acts like a inch worm in his sleep, no joke, i've walked in there at night to see him with his ass in the air swaying and his arms plastered to his side... I'll bring you more on that next time...

Moral of that story. He brings in a extra hundred a month, helps me clean, takes care of my pups and makes me smile. Hes an ass at times but I adore him. And I feel like I could suffer a lifetime with him if we did marry too. I know that for sure because I know EXACTLY how he is with scary detail...

Till next we meet...

Im starting to feel I got off track...