( As posted 9/2/15 Weebly)
( I hate you Weebly.. It deleted my post AGAIN... So less detail, more overview)
She said it was like feeling nothing at all, but she just knew she was suppose to die. That was how it was at home. Then when she left home it was just pain like no other. She was sad and never knew why. It was mind numbing.
"It was torture, I'd burst into tears without warning. It was like life was about to end for everything I loved and I just didn't know why. I mean, who feels that much pain and sadness out of the blue in English... Okay, I hate English but this was like my whole family just got flayed in front of me-life shattering-pain and despair. Everyone had good reason to think I was insane, I thought I was bonkers too."
I wish she was joking about that too... But i'd heard about a few of those episodes. Fine and then at the drop of a hat she was running out of the room and sobbing. No one knew how to handle that so they had someone take her home. Guess that was a mistake.
"I told the doctors, they gave me meds... They never helped. They said I was cronically depressed or something.. If the meds didn't help I was getting sent to a padded room. So I lied and said I was better. I guess that's why they assumed it was just bullying or something at school."
"I'd go home though.. Sit in my room on the bed till Ma got home.. I'd watch the lights flicker and that 30 pound tube tv get pushed around on my entertainment center. Sometimes i'd see the shadows. Everyday it get bigger and darker. But at night it looked like a human shape.."
She tapped the picture of the claw marks.
"Fi, that was a week after Ma called that medium. She was talking to it and it was getting stronger. So I called her too. Told her it wasn't my grandpa. Told her I was getting scratched, had what looked like bites on my legs.. Told her how I was feeling now. Ya know what she said? Its FEEDING off me. Its feeding off my energy and because it feels negative to me, im getting bad feelings. It was just in my head."
She half laughed and started grinding her teeth-classic angry. Couldn't blame her. Skeptic or not, how could she bite her own leg? She wasn't that flexible.. And how was it feeding off her good? For that matter how was it hating her good to be around?
"It got worse after I called her.. I should of left the house to do that.. It was months of attacks. I had horrible dreams... It kept attacking me in my sleep, messing with me when I was awake. Hoss was the only one to stay with me. He started laying on top of me.. That's when I knew it wasn't in my head. It scratched him. Got him good.. He flipped out on top of me, spinning and snapping at the air. All the dogs came down and started growling then. I saw it. It was a dark form, even darker then a pitch black room. They chased him out, but he came back."
I asked her if that was where Hoss got the scratch on his head. I thought it was from a fight. It had to of been deep, it scarred and left a large hairless dent.
"Ya.. I took the day off from school and kept close to him after that. It was the first time i'd prayed since my grandma died. I prayed God would protect my dogs. And they never got scratched again."
She told me how there was about two nights with no trouble. Dogs all slept in there with her. Her depression let up too. So she stayed up late and played on World of Warcraft, talking to her friend, soon to be boyfriend. She'd told him and only him about some of the trouble.
He knew about the attacks and would Skype with her during the "bad hours" between midnight and three. He also knew about the last attack and how it had been chased off.
"We were just chatting, I was feeling good. Then, I went deathly silent. I felt like I was being watched. I heard the girls leaving and felt Hoss stiffen under my chair. I couldn't even breath, I was so scared... I typed to him Its back.. but..."
She teared up, pulled her legs up. She told me how she kept a plug up back massager on her desk to use on her lower back and neck when she got stiff from sitting in the chair too long. She always kept it unplugged and the cord wrapped around it though so it wouldn't get pulled down.
"I heard it walk in, but I was too scared to turn... Too scared to breath. I just sat there. I felt someone stand behind me. They were huge. Twice my size.. I felt cold air on my head as if it was looking down at me and then that massager... It was unplugged. The plug was around it."
She was chocking up, but I got the idea. It feel from the high shelf she kept it on and turned on and started buzzing and wiggling all over her desk. Then it stopped. When she calmed down, she told me that wasn't the worse part though.
"I still had my headphones on. Sal, didn't know why I wouldn't talk. I always talked during the stuff that happened. He knew I was scared shitless, he kept asking in a panic if I was okay, what was that noise, why was Hoss growling. I guess that thing heard him. I felt it leaning over me and then he got cut off, like the call was ended.. But a split second later this horrible, unearthly growl... Fi, it was yelling, growling, threatening into my ear, into my mic."
She went on to say that out of fear she threw her headphones off and started crying at her desk. Sal had done the same. He started typing to her and she responded after a moment. He had heard part of it, she knew but said it was static.. But he refused to put his headphones on either.
"I ended the call and stood up. I was scared, but I was trapped. I hate feeling cornered. I hated being scared. I did something real stupid Fi.. I confronted the thing. When I stood, I slammed into the dark mass and it was ice. The whole room was freezing. I screamed at it. I let the natural red hair take hold and cursed it. I demanded that in God's name it leave my room. That it never come back in. That it never touched my pets. I called it a demon. I don't know when I decided it was one, but I knew it wasn't my grandpa. I told it, I wasn't fooled."
I asked her what happened, and she said the room got real warm.
"It wasn't in there. But the hall light was blinking. I pissed it off, but I wasn't scared. I knew it couldn't come in. The dogs all came charging in my room and started barking at the doorway. The dreams stopped. I felt safe in my room. I believed in God again too..."
I had never known she'd stopped believing, but I was told later that she had got angry with him when she was 9 for taking her grandma. She'd stopped praying, stopped trusting. And then at 17, she believed again because he was keeping her safe. Gave her one place she could be safe.
"It was after that I told Ma everything. Showed her the pictures. She finally took me serious. Finally decided it may not be my grandpa."
Interested in my friends pain? See me next week for more!
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